Swimsuit season. And Kleenex at my Weight Watchers.

I lost it at my Weight Watchers meeting today. And I’m not talking lb’s. I’m talking Kleenex, stat! Slight mental breakdown in progress.

With swimsuit season near, and a jeans party last night, it was all too much reality for this queen of spin and sometimes denial.

You see my friend hosted a fabulous Miraclebody jeans gathering last night. I went and the jeans indeed sucked 10 lbs off me, but I was still miserably uncomfortable on the way home in the size I “thought” I was. The party was just the kick in the stitched denim ass I needed. I looked up my Weight Watchers meeting location time, and returned today—after a 15-month, uh, “sabbatical” (to focus on other things, since I so had the weight thing handled since dropping major pounds since my last kid).

So there I was at the same WW location, with my same WW card, in the same vanilla decorated space. I was so back—but almost 20 lbs heavier. I made it through the meeting fine, but then the leader approached me after to review tools. Cue the waterworks.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, I lost it. It was that Mack truck moment that hits you sometimes. The reality of how I failed my goal and was now doing something all over again that I said I never would was just too much. And apparently, it was all bigger than the double-digit pounds I had to lose.

The very kind, business-like WW lady turned instant, involuntary Life Coach looked at me and asked one question: “How many kids do you have?” (noting the one I had with me). I said, “Two.” Which she followed with, “Where’s the time for you?” Yep. 2 kids. 1 husband. 1 essentially full-time freelance job. 2 sites. 2 blogs. 1 dog. 1 new bunny. 1 house. And 1 spent Mama. (You know, the normal Mom math, plus or minus 1 or 2.)

My Mack truck was my WW meeting, but everybody has their own point at which it’s clearly evident that they’re in neutral, reverse or on empty.

“Forgive yourself. You realized it. You’re doing something. And we can do this.” she told me.

So here’s to a Skinny Bitch healthy eating, balanced mama, who looks great in the latest mix-match suit, and with or without her miracle jeans.

This was also a Debbie’s Hot Topic at my OC Family column.

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